.x Rent

Good Morning Beautiful World :)
I'm in my 'starbeam' mood right now. I feel like everything in my life is going amazingly well. I feel like a thousand pound weight hasbeen lifted off my shoulders, I feel like the people that loves me most, understand me the best right now, and I feel euphoric. I dont like to make the same mistake twice, so in my quest to not repeat the past, I often find myself reliving the past (mentally). Today, I feel like the past is what it is and no matter if I repeat the same mistake, I will learn something from both times :)

So, I'm re-reading the EJD Gideon series (READ IT!) for my creative writing prose class [every writer at PV should take this class, its amazing!] and I'm really learning alot about making characters more interesting. I feel like my characters always have extreme emotions, happii or angrii, love or hate, never in between. So, my assignment today, make a character float between emotions seamlessly :)

***
To say I'm not a morning person is to make an extreme understatement. I set my alarm forty-five minutes early so I cn wake up in nine, five minute intervals. Its madness I know. But once I'm up, I'm up for good. I look over beside me at the snoring lump of etched chocolate manly perfection I call my man and I feel the way I did nine years ago when we were new. Its hard to regain that new feeling somtimes. Its not intentional, but we get set in our ways, routines, and overall schedule. Its bound to happen.

"Get up handsome, it's time to live your dream." Over nine years, you can pretty much understand a person. Understanding their moods and tendacies and thoughts is one thing, but understanding them and why they are who they are, is a completly different can of worms. I understand that Julius likes to be awaken with kind words and kisses, rather than a rough shake and a cold shoulder.

"I didnt think you'd be talking to me after last night." My feet moved softly through the air beside our bed. I looked at them swinging back and forth and picked a piece of lint of my pink and green polka dot socks.

"Why? That was last night, this is this morning." He leaned across his side of the bed and parked his elbows where my back once was.He trailed his fingers up the length of my back and through my maze of locked natural hair.

"I love you Teagan Marleigh Carlton." I looked at his eyes and watched the blades from the ceiling fan chop light into them in a rhythmic pattern.

"I love you too Julius Langham Carlton." As his chocolate hand patted my caramel skin I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, today was a new day.

**

"Ms. Carlton." I looked up from my desk and saw the lanky frame of Hooper Flint walking in his usual monotonous pace.
"Mrs. Carlton. How are you Mr. Flint?" Always on the edge of my desk, even though I have four chairs surrounding the cherry oak wood construct.
"I cant complain, do you mind if I call you Teagan." My tongue flashed across my lips and returned to feeling up the back of my front teeth. I brought my bottom lip in to nibble on the corner of it while I watched him.

I cant lie. Ever since I applied to work at

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.x Spanish Class

i love the spanish lab in delco. its like the bat cave. I just come down here and get so much accomplished, like creating. I've managed to write six pages (front and back, handwritten) for my next short story. Its amazing how much you can get accomplished in a short period of time. I love this place, as i say it again!

in other news, i feel like everything in my life is in a grey area. my education is in a grey area because Im not exactly sure what I want to do after I graduate. I think i've found what I want to do but it requires me getting an actual job and save up [eek!]. lol, i can do it, i just have to get motivated.

so, a random funny thing, the new spanish teacher is giving a quiz in the lab and i just realized it because this lady is in here on her twitter and facebook. you should not be professor with a twitter page, unacceptable. Speaking of twitter, i need to start tweeting more {@_oniomaniac_}

I wish i could draw or paint, cause i always feel so inspired to get my emotions out that way, but it is.
Man, its Wednesday already, it feels like the weeks are passing by me at an unrealistically fast pace. its crazy. i still havent given my blog a purpose (on a side note).

Ugh, well, im bored and im off to do my usual Jamie-like activities :)

.x tmi

i think i struggle with TMI. I'm a very open person, and so sometimes i just share things that i shudnt. lol, some people think its a curse, i think its a gift.

blah blah blah its a Monday. being honest, i dont hate Monday's, i think they're boring, but i dont hate them. I mean, have you ever thought about the way Mondays just start a week but thats a ll they do?

I feel like designing. Sometimes i get creative and feel like designing stuff, this is one of those times. idk wht to create. maybe i'll write, but i hve to idea what to write. i hate when my creativity gets critiqued, but [eh] its whtever, maybe ill design a cake, lol.

well, idk wht else to blog. maybe i'll have more to say ltr this week [hopefully abt my creativity]

laters :)

.x Little Rascals

smetmes i wonder what life is all about. is it to get to the end and have been the best person you could possibly be? or is it to live yur life as happily as we cn. is our life even for us to live? man my brain hurts wen i hve these cul-de-sac thoughts.
in other news, senioritis has hit me hard already and i havent even turned in my application for graduation. lol. but its such a surreal feeling to me that im graduating in less than a year. i knew i could do it but yeah idk.
latelii ive been writing like crazii. my creativr writing tchr the leprechaun, lol, has really sparked my love for writing again.
i dnt think people realize jus how cathartic writing is. it like relaxes me. it makes me feel invincible because in my stories i hve all the say so and the control over my characters. sounds kinda bullii- ish huh? lol.
but for me, writing helps with life lessons as well: patience, kindness, trust, love, envy, hate, passion etc. i always find myself writing about one extreme or the other. lol its my style.
i look bck. at my ramblings and readings and realize tht if i was white in the 60s i wuda been a hippie. cause my whole take on life is tht everyone shud pick their vice (mine is a Tokyo Tea or a frozen house rita) and use it freely and responsibly so they cn relieve sme stress. i also wuda bn a hippie cause im so nonconfrontational. id rather talk about it maturally and move on instead of spreading lies and such. lying is an ugly thing.
i love watching snapped bc it tchs yu alot abt the human mind. people often react based on half-truths or one side of the story thts where they fuck up.
welp, im off to mke lunch :)
ltr

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