Ride or Die Chick

So, I'm reading an article on Madme Noire and its discussing the "ride or die" chick phenom. I began to think about what that means.
In the article and many of the comments that followed it, women praised the idea of not being a "ride or die" chick for their man. While I can agree that the terminology that has been chosen is a bit degrading, the concept itself is completely diferent.

In my brain,a "ride or die" chick is a loyal companion. The term "ride or die" chick has jaded a concept that use to be called loyalty. In my opinion the correct way to define the term is:
A woman who will stick by her man through the tough times and the easy times, when they're broke and when they have extra, when there is sickness and health. She is a woman who will be loyal almost to a fault to preserve the family they have built or they are building. She will trust her man and if he has given her reason to doubt his trustworthiness she will decide if whether or not she can allow him to win her trust back.
This woman is strong. She is not easily dismissed because dark clouds circle their relationship. Her resilience is legendary because of her strength. These women understand that a man has needs and she is willing to meet them.

But, this woman also requires love on a daily basis, acknowledgement of their union (married or dating), respect for her place in their relationship and/or home, dedication to her and her future. This woman is one who can stand on her own two feet, but wants a man that will stand in front of her to lead their family to prosperity.
She requires a man who will ride or die for her. Her man will be loyal to her, respect her, honor her, and provide for her. He will be the one who makes sure she is taken care of, the home is happy, and that the concerns of the day are met, resolved, and closed by the end of the day. He will place NO other woman before her and he will ensure that their family, children, friends, and acquantices see the love and loyalty that he has for her.

Sadly, the author of the article chose to use examples like Emily B. and Fabolous,  DMX and his former wife, and Stevie J. and Joseline/MiMi. These are not examples of ride or die chicks or even of loyal partners, these are examples of weak women. Women who allow a man to use them for his purposes. True examples are couples like Will & Jada who have a beautiful celebrity marriage, Jay & Beyonce, or even everyday peole like my grandparents--Charles and Judy Wells (who have been happily married for 46 years).

So, to bring this point home I introduce my relationship. My boyfriend and I have dated for almost five years. We've dealt with a crazy ex girlfriend, infidelity, time issues, and commitment issues, but through it all we maintained three things: communication, love, and a desire to let it be what it will be. We never stopped talking, though sometimes the talks were hard and almost unbearable. By us keeping that line of communication open, we never could say that we were completely in the dark about any situation. We also never stopped loving each other. I am a firm believer than love is the glue that can bond anything. I know that if the love ever left we would end the relationship, but the fact that the love--true love--has stayed means that God has a bigger plan for us. Finally, we always had the desire to let the relationship evolve as it should. We never forced anything to happen.So often as people we have the desire to expedite the relationship and get it to where we want it to be, but sometimes that can strain a perfectly good relationship.

So, this is my little soapbox about this article. I've linked to it here so that you can decide for yourself how you feel about the topic.

Peace :)

So, I'm blogging for the first time in like 6 months, lol. Lately I havent really felt the need to blog. There's so much going on right now, I'm in a frantic rush to get it all done. First, I'm still working on my business stuff. I want everything to be perfect so that when it gets off the ground it is immediately successful.
Second, my dog is going crazy these days. She use to be so sweet and innocent, but now that she is a bit older, she's become a little more mischevious. But, i still love her dearly :).
Third, I'm thinking about a fun dish to make for pre-thanksgiving dinnet this year. IDK what to make, but i know it will be dee-lish!!!
Fourth, um .... idk.
I'm still wanting to do some d-i-y decorating but I
don't have the time or the fundage to do it correctly. I want to make sme
shelves, a dry erase board, and sme othr stuff. I also want to do sme d-i-y pottery and make sme plates and cups and bowls and all kinds of stuff.

Well, I'm off to organize and prioritize my big dreams ...

Jamie :)

.x cow & chicken

Hola,

So, I'm blogging right now because i need
to vent. I feel like I'm so stuck between to life levels right now. I dnt necessarily feel like an adult but I do feel older than a young adult.

I know what I want in life and how to get it, but the pieces of the puzzle are not aligning the way I need them to. It's extremely frustrating.

Other than that, I'm just trying to work and stack up as much money as Ican because in a few short months, no matter what's going on, Ant & I will open our own business. And it will be successful.

Finally, in recent news, I'm so happy to be 22 :)

Later Gator

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.x Wednesday: Its a Party :)

So it's Wednesday. The middle of the week. Tomorrow is payday. Friday is the weekend. So many gud things to look forward to.

I'm in dire need of a nap but I cant :(
Lately, Ant & I havr been cooking different foods. We had cajun pan seared tilapia, sticky ribs, breakfast casserole, and sme othr stuff. Tonight for dessert I'm thinking about making stuffed beignets. I havent decided what to stuff them with though. I'm thinking about doing strawberry cream cheese or vanilla fluff. idk yet.

Now tht I'm finished bein a lil fat kid, on to more pressing issues. Ant & I working on starting our own business. I absolutely positively know that this idea we have is going to be amazing and I cant wait to do it. We've already done alot of the written stuff, the idea sketches, etc... now we need
to get those wheels a turning.

Doing all of this for our business has me so motivated and inspired to make a better world for those behind us.
I'm so excited to see how the rest of our generation makes an impact on the world.
How will you make a your mark?

Don't just dance on the moon, conquer it!

Jaii

.x striped :)

i love my lil striped jacket. alotta ppl think its like a gay pride jckt but its nt. its jus stripy.
welp in othr news i jis turned n my grad app and i took Marzettes midterm annnnd WAKEFIELD IS TEACHNG SPECIAL TOPICS THIS YEAR ... YAYYYY!!!

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone named Chauncey]

.x Kenny Britt

apparentlii he did verii gud in famtasy football todaii. congrats person!

aniiwho its official .... im gttn at least 3 new tattoos before christmas :) i alreadii kno what i want and everything. i jus gtta gt bck on my wrk out and gt bck right so i cn gt thm dne. wht are they?
a purple butterfly
a skeleton key
sme wrds (bet yu cnt guess the wrds) lol. but other than tht. im chilln. mah hunnii cme hme earlii todaii (yay) and brought sme canes (double yay)!! tht made my daii :)

in other news: i was washn dishes and thinkin (while listenin to "Finding Dakota Grey" by Tony Williams) and like a zillion random quotes cme to me. so ill share a couple with yu:

* never lend smethn out tht yu cnt afford to lose

* no man is worth losing yu self respect and morality over

* even the most brutal moments in history were filled with passion

* wlk yur own path ... none of the rest are quite right fr yu aniiwaii.

welp those are my little inspirational tidbits fr the daii. im off to give ViVi a bath.

ltr :)

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone named Chauncey]

.x thank me later

First : i cnt sleep
Second: i added a bunch of new stuff to my blogs appearance. I added some buttons where you cn now email, facebook, twitter, googlebuzz, etc. my post to someone else! it makes it alot easier to share my awesomeness, yur welcome! (im tryn nt to be conceited).
Third, i have alot to write about.

lately ive been acting very out of character. or so i thought. i stopped to think, what does it mean to act out of character? does it mean that you do things that you wouldnt normally do? i decided that this was exactly what it meant. so i chronicled my "out of character" behavior. i decided that it was happening because i was frustrated and tired and i felt like i deserved to not be the bigger person for once in my life. okay. with that being said, i also thought about ways to keep things like this from happening in the future. i decided that i need something more constructive to do with my time. so i got a new journal and i decided that instead of typing my stories (which can take as little as 10/15 minutes to type two pages) im going to handwrite them. this way i have a more intimate relationship with my stories and i have less time. lol.

last night Cecile, Anthony and I went to an Art Show. It was really nice. I honestly didnt think i'd enjoy it as much as i did. But i loved the whole artsy atmosphere. there were two pieces that stuck out to me. one was an orange forest. i loved how the artist used one color in several different shades and hues to create art. i also liked this semi-3D piece that had a bird, a flower, and a vase and it had all different types of music written inside the leaves. idk whii i liked it so much, but i do.
also, the art show had a vagina on the door of the womens bathroom and a penis on the door of the mens bathroom. i like nude art. maybe imma freak, but i think its mostly because i like the open expression. i think im going to put up some nude art work in my house whenever we move into a house (soon hopefully).

well, im good now...
ltr

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone named Chauncey]

.x Lets Talk About

lol, i was thinking bout the salt and peppa song ... i think its really random that spinderella was in the group, like am i too young to remember her contribution to the group? possibly so.

Aniiwho, im sittin in the library watchin these kids act a fool earlii in the morning (its 8:19 am to be exact) and it makes me shake my head in shame.

[note from me :) i hope that everyone who reads this blog reads it from start to finish because i really want alot of my black sistas to lemme know if im right in how i feel or if im waiiiii off target]

if you talk to some people, black women have it hardest in the world. first because we are a minority by being black and then we are a minority by being a woman. so, i can understand how over the years women have inately taken ownership of this "victim or villian" mentality. not to insult your intelligence or anything, i jus wanna explain this.

The Wester's dictionary definition of victim is:
1. a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency (ex. a victim of an automobile accident.)


2. a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency (ex. a victim of misplaced confidence; the victim of a swindler; a victim of an optical illusion. )

so, you can see that based on those to definitions, we as black women really dont have any business considering ourselves victims of our circumstances (and by circumstances, i mean being black and a woman).
 
by the same token, we also dont have to be the villian. most times in society, black women think that if we cant be the damsel in distress then we must be the one causing the distress. this definition (though it doesnt have to be) often times rings true because we feel like we must exact revenge on those who've hurt us or  we must hurt the people who could hurt us before they do hurt us. its a sad story honestly. i am speaking from my own personal experience when i say that we as black women need to learn to be free and live. we need to stop letting the societal norms and the possible scrutiny of our "superior (males and whites) peers" put us in places where we feel like we cannot and will not succeed.
 
why am i saying all this? i think for a long time i suffered from this victim or villian disease. i felt like i was either a victim of my circumstances or a villian because of how i tried to change my circumstances. i have realized i am neither. i am simply a participant in my activities and a co-dictator of my life. i make choices based upon the situation before me. there is no right or wrong choice, there is simply a choice that best fits me and if that choice doesnt suit whoever is on the other side of it well then that is something that they will have to deal with for themselves. that isnt my responsiblity.
 
on to more relevant news, so the shebeast is up to her usual tactics, but i think its amusing. its funny how when someone knows they're wrong, they will do everything in their power to make you feel bad when in reality they are trying to make themselves feel better. so, since she was on i mission, i stirred her up a little yesterday and she went on and on about pretty much how much of a slut she is. its really sad. i think subconciously soceity has set alot of people up to fail. our society is so sex driven that alot of times people do things that are probably out of character for them all because of sex. maybe its me and im one of the few people that doesnt undersrtand what is so magnificently wonderful about sex that it would make me act out of character, but some people would argue me down that there is power in the respective sex organs. i disagree. i think the power is mental. the power is in the mind of the person who cant love themself enough or respect themself enough to not let sex be a motivator for their promiscuous behavior. but thats just me.
 
lastly, [i promised i wudnt be long winded todaii {lol}] i want to discuss love. i think love is my favorite topic. love is something that i love to talk about. i love to talk about it because its one of those words that can mean anything and everything you want it to mean. its one of those words that can be the difference between peace and war, happiness and misery, right and wrong. love is so powerful. everything and everyone needs it yet few of us really find up.
my grandparents are among the few, they've been together since they were teenagers and to this day they are sill together. thats real love my friends. thats the kind of love i want. thats the kind of love i have. dont let love be your motivation, but dont let hate stop you either. its a very thin line between love and lust, hate and wantonness. its a line we walk all the time, but one thing i can say is that i love ALWII more than i lust for him.
 
so be easy bloggees :)
 
Peace

.x Al jarreau LP

i love Al Jarreau btw.
anii who i wanna watch knocked up but im too lazii to gt up and put it in, so football it is.

so i hve to write a research ppr abt slave narratives an blah blah blah but im extremely unmotivated to do this paper. first of all im tired of talking about slavery like it still affects us. slaverii was over 100 years ago. we (as blk ppl) need to let it go. everythingtht happens to us isnt because of slavery. we wont get restitution. we need to move on and jus do better. secondly my teacher has no vision fr wht he wants. he jus keeps havin terrets moments and blurting out random things we need for this paper. ugh, its quite irratating.

so today i wore alot of pink. it was low key because its breast cancer awareness month and im pro-save-the-ta-tas and the second reason why i hd on alot of pink was because i was feeln super girly. it was kinda an odd feeling.

in other news its monday, the start of anothr week. i finished 2 characters (Marleigh and Branston) but i hve two more to go. i really hve too much goin on and im extremelii undermotivated. okaii i need to stop bloggin and go write.

k bye bloggees :)

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.x Star

So, im sitting.
Im watching niggerdom on tv [bet]
I'm thinking.
I've decided that double conciousness in the 21st century isnt a realistic idea.
Thats all i hve to say about tht.

I think about blogging every day but i never have anything interesting to say, so i'll recap my daii [rnt yu luckii]
I woke up twenty minutes before i hd to leave fr class, i threw on smethng tht almst mtchd. i went to minorities (tht clss is bull), i went to A.A History (another waste), then adv. grammar (i luv tht clss). Then, i went home && checked the mail and  i hd a check for 20 bucks [random but exciting enough]. Then i went got my check, bought sme groceries, and now im home watchn tv and chilln wit the boo.

tht was my day.
what was yours.
btw ... random question: whts the deal with jack in the box and viagra?
welp, im out
bout to do four character sketches ... gimme sme names fr characters cause im struggln
ltr

.x These flippn Jet Penalties

So im layin n the bed, burnin incense, listenin to the tv and blogging. idk why im bloggin at this random hour, but i am. Latelii i keep sayin flippn when i shud say the f-word. its so ladii-like, lol :)

so im currently feeling like im invincible. im havn one of those years where nthn mtttrs unless i lt it mttr, and if i lt it mttr thn yu shud feel honored tht i lt yu mttr. lol, so conceited of me.

idk how many times im gnna say this but ..... im graduating in MAY!!!!! Im like 27 hours away frm graduation. I cant believe tht time has flown and passed by so unbelievablii quick.

so i need to gt my locs retwisted but i nvr hve the time. ugh! i feel so free wit my
locs. like i literallii think abt my hair like once or twice a week. i feel like my hair is an extension and an expression of me. yeah i go like three or four weeks without gttn it twistes but so wht? thts the way my energy mves me so thts the way my hair will be :)

side note: i nees sme new bows but i cnt find anii cute ones. if aniione (especiallii smeone in LA) knows where sme are, get em fr me. k, thnks :)

welp, im out ... i need to finish writin on this storii.

Jaii

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.x Shit

So, i feel like shit today. I have a super freakin cold and shit isnt goin the way I want it to. Lol.
anywho, in other news, it seems like my stars are realigned because Im happier than ever and everything in life is melding itself out.
Like, for one, Ebony seems to notice i exist, thats weird in itself. IDK why this is happening but um, i'll let it do its thing. Secondly, I feel at peace for once about the whole Alison situation. She isnt a crazy bitch after all, lol. And lastly, all of my enemies are living in everlasting tragedy (lol). jus kiddin.

Welp, in other news, I want a white iPhone 4 and a white iPad. I also just saw this random Jack in the Box commerical with a startling reference to viagra [ew, lol].
Oh, if I havent said this yet, im gnna say it again, Everyone At Prairie View A&M Unversity, No Matter What Your Major Is, You Should Take Dr. Marzette's African American Literature Class!

So, im writing another story for class and im actually giving my characters names. but i dnt know what to name them. i want my female to be named either Teagan or Marleigh. The guy, either Julius or Langham. IDK.

I love Anthony L. Ware II. He's kinda dreamy. I woulda never dreamed that we would be together, but we are and it mades me smile like no other. He's amazing. He makes me experience love, not just feel it. He really makes me be a better me, even when I dont feel like it. He's my soul mate and I'm beyond blessed to have him :)

Sooo, idk wht else to write, jus wanted to pop in and give a life update.

Peace:)

.x Spanish Class

i love the spanish lab in delco. its like the bat cave. I just come down here and get so much accomplished, like creating. I've managed to write six pages (front and back, handwritten) for my next short story. Its amazing how much you can get accomplished in a short period of time. I love this place, as i say it again!

in other news, i feel like everything in my life is in a grey area. my education is in a grey area because Im not exactly sure what I want to do after I graduate. I think i've found what I want to do but it requires me getting an actual job and save up [eek!]. lol, i can do it, i just have to get motivated.

so, a random funny thing, the new spanish teacher is giving a quiz in the lab and i just realized it because this lady is in here on her twitter and facebook. you should not be professor with a twitter page, unacceptable. Speaking of twitter, i need to start tweeting more {@_oniomaniac_}

I wish i could draw or paint, cause i always feel so inspired to get my emotions out that way, but it is.
Man, its Wednesday already, it feels like the weeks are passing by me at an unrealistically fast pace. its crazy. i still havent given my blog a purpose (on a side note).

Ugh, well, im bored and im off to do my usual Jamie-like activities :)

.x Little Rascals

smetmes i wonder what life is all about. is it to get to the end and have been the best person you could possibly be? or is it to live yur life as happily as we cn. is our life even for us to live? man my brain hurts wen i hve these cul-de-sac thoughts.
in other news, senioritis has hit me hard already and i havent even turned in my application for graduation. lol. but its such a surreal feeling to me that im graduating in less than a year. i knew i could do it but yeah idk.
latelii ive been writing like crazii. my creativr writing tchr the leprechaun, lol, has really sparked my love for writing again.
i dnt think people realize jus how cathartic writing is. it like relaxes me. it makes me feel invincible because in my stories i hve all the say so and the control over my characters. sounds kinda bullii- ish huh? lol.
but for me, writing helps with life lessons as well: patience, kindness, trust, love, envy, hate, passion etc. i always find myself writing about one extreme or the other. lol its my style.
i look bck. at my ramblings and readings and realize tht if i was white in the 60s i wuda been a hippie. cause my whole take on life is tht everyone shud pick their vice (mine is a Tokyo Tea or a frozen house rita) and use it freely and responsibly so they cn relieve sme stress. i also wuda bn a hippie cause im so nonconfrontational. id rather talk about it maturally and move on instead of spreading lies and such. lying is an ugly thing.
i love watching snapped bc it tchs yu alot abt the human mind. people often react based on half-truths or one side of the story thts where they fuck up.
welp, im off to mke lunch :)
ltr

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