Ride or Die Chick

So, I'm reading an article on Madme Noire and its discussing the "ride or die" chick phenom. I began to think about what that means.
In the article and many of the comments that followed it, women praised the idea of not being a "ride or die" chick for their man. While I can agree that the terminology that has been chosen is a bit degrading, the concept itself is completely diferent.

In my brain,a "ride or die" chick is a loyal companion. The term "ride or die" chick has jaded a concept that use to be called loyalty. In my opinion the correct way to define the term is:
A woman who will stick by her man through the tough times and the easy times, when they're broke and when they have extra, when there is sickness and health. She is a woman who will be loyal almost to a fault to preserve the family they have built or they are building. She will trust her man and if he has given her reason to doubt his trustworthiness she will decide if whether or not she can allow him to win her trust back.
This woman is strong. She is not easily dismissed because dark clouds circle their relationship. Her resilience is legendary because of her strength. These women understand that a man has needs and she is willing to meet them.

But, this woman also requires love on a daily basis, acknowledgement of their union (married or dating), respect for her place in their relationship and/or home, dedication to her and her future. This woman is one who can stand on her own two feet, but wants a man that will stand in front of her to lead their family to prosperity.
She requires a man who will ride or die for her. Her man will be loyal to her, respect her, honor her, and provide for her. He will be the one who makes sure she is taken care of, the home is happy, and that the concerns of the day are met, resolved, and closed by the end of the day. He will place NO other woman before her and he will ensure that their family, children, friends, and acquantices see the love and loyalty that he has for her.

Sadly, the author of the article chose to use examples like Emily B. and Fabolous,  DMX and his former wife, and Stevie J. and Joseline/MiMi. These are not examples of ride or die chicks or even of loyal partners, these are examples of weak women. Women who allow a man to use them for his purposes. True examples are couples like Will & Jada who have a beautiful celebrity marriage, Jay & Beyonce, or even everyday peole like my grandparents--Charles and Judy Wells (who have been happily married for 46 years).

So, to bring this point home I introduce my relationship. My boyfriend and I have dated for almost five years. We've dealt with a crazy ex girlfriend, infidelity, time issues, and commitment issues, but through it all we maintained three things: communication, love, and a desire to let it be what it will be. We never stopped talking, though sometimes the talks were hard and almost unbearable. By us keeping that line of communication open, we never could say that we were completely in the dark about any situation. We also never stopped loving each other. I am a firm believer than love is the glue that can bond anything. I know that if the love ever left we would end the relationship, but the fact that the love--true love--has stayed means that God has a bigger plan for us. Finally, we always had the desire to let the relationship evolve as it should. We never forced anything to happen.So often as people we have the desire to expedite the relationship and get it to where we want it to be, but sometimes that can strain a perfectly good relationship.

So, this is my little soapbox about this article. I've linked to it here so that you can decide for yourself how you feel about the topic.

Peace :)

.x Little Rascals

smetmes i wonder what life is all about. is it to get to the end and have been the best person you could possibly be? or is it to live yur life as happily as we cn. is our life even for us to live? man my brain hurts wen i hve these cul-de-sac thoughts.
in other news, senioritis has hit me hard already and i havent even turned in my application for graduation. lol. but its such a surreal feeling to me that im graduating in less than a year. i knew i could do it but yeah idk.
latelii ive been writing like crazii. my creativr writing tchr the leprechaun, lol, has really sparked my love for writing again.
i dnt think people realize jus how cathartic writing is. it like relaxes me. it makes me feel invincible because in my stories i hve all the say so and the control over my characters. sounds kinda bullii- ish huh? lol.
but for me, writing helps with life lessons as well: patience, kindness, trust, love, envy, hate, passion etc. i always find myself writing about one extreme or the other. lol its my style.
i look bck. at my ramblings and readings and realize tht if i was white in the 60s i wuda been a hippie. cause my whole take on life is tht everyone shud pick their vice (mine is a Tokyo Tea or a frozen house rita) and use it freely and responsibly so they cn relieve sme stress. i also wuda bn a hippie cause im so nonconfrontational. id rather talk about it maturally and move on instead of spreading lies and such. lying is an ugly thing.
i love watching snapped bc it tchs yu alot abt the human mind. people often react based on half-truths or one side of the story thts where they fuck up.
welp, im off to mke lunch :)
ltr

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]